Have you stayed too long?

A few months ago I made the decision to read through the Bible with my children. I remember as a child attending Sunday and Vacation Bible School. It was during these encounters that I was able to learn scripture even if I didn’t understand the meaning behind them. With Sunday school classes on the decline and in some instances Vacation Bible School as well I realized that “I” needed to do more to expose my children to God’s Word. Isn’t that the job of a parent anyway? I wanted to make it simple so I just started with the beginning. What has been so beautiful about this experience is the revelation I’ve been receiving! I have read these books multiple times and at varying stages in my Christian walk but this experience has been quite different. After completing Genesis and soon to begin Exodus I gave my son a brief description of what the book entails. It was in this synopsis that something key was revealed.

Toward the end of Genesis we learn that Jacob, now known as Israel, his sons and all their household must relocate to Egypt due to a drought (Genesis 45-46) Twenty years earlier, Israel’s son Joseph had been sold into slavery by his brothers due to their jealousy. During Joseph’s time in Egypt he suffered much hardship but was ultimately promoted to Governor in Egypt second only to Pharaoh (Genesis 41:38). It was because of who Joseph was that his family was able to move to Egypt and be spared from the effects of the drought. Israel, his sons and their families were able to live in Egypt peacefully and abundantly for many years. However, after the deaths of Israel, Joseph and his brothers the descendants of Israel became mighty in the land of Egypt. Upon recognition of this the Egyptians reasoned with themselves that if they did not enslave them then those descendants might align with their enemies and war against them (Exodus 1)

The failure of the Israelites during this time is that they became too comfortable in Egypt. When God brought them out of the land of Canaan in order to save them from the drought He never intended for them to prolong their stay in Egypt. However, in order to get a complete picture we must go back to Jacob/Israel’s grandfather Abraham. God told Abraham to leave his father’s household and go to a place that He would show him (Genesis 12); this land was Canaan. It is interesting to note that after Abraham and Sarah arrived in Canaan there was a famine which caused them to have to go to Egypt. However, their stay there was short lived but when they departed they left with sheep, oxen, donkeys, camels and female and male servants (Genesis 12:16)  Abraham, Sarah, Isaac and their descendants were already living in what would become the promised land (Canaan) for the Israelites. With the exception of the 20 years Jacob/Israel spent living and working for his uncle Laban he, himself was reared in the land of Canaan.

Isn’t that the case with God’s children of today? We become comfortable in situations and places that God never intended for us to remain in. We have two choices, leave when we are instructed or remain and face the consequences of staying in a place when we aren’t supposed to. Of course, hundreds of years later God would deliver the Israelites and once again instruct them to go to Canaan (the Promised Land) but their presence in the land had been absent for many years and other nations inhabited the land. The Israelites had to fight to regain what was theirs to begin with! I believe they were supposed to leave when Joseph died and/or when the famine had ended. The famine lasted only 7 years but they sojourned there for many more years after that.

It is important to seek God on where you are to be and to be sensitive to His voice. God can call you to a place filled with peacefulness and abundant living however, you must recognize if and when He calls you to leave. Don’t become too comfortable that you miss His voice and when calamity befalls you question where He is.

The Agony of Waiting

The other day I was in the middle of cleaning when my three year old asked me to help her remove a belt that she had fastened around her dress. Because of the chemicals on the gloves that I was wearing I told her to sit on the bed and once I was done I would help her. Apparently, wait is not a part of her vocabulary and she began to throw a tantrum! I thought this the opportune time to teach her the importance of waiting. As her tantrum began to reach decibels that should have shattered the windows the more determined I became in not running to her rescue. In that moment I needed her to understand that she can't expect everything to happen at the time she determines they should. This tantrum raged on for almost 30 minutes and concluded only when she succeeded in ripping the dress because she  refused to wait the 10 minutes it would have taken me to finish my tasks.

As she stood there crying I asked God if this is how we react to Him when He doesn't respond immediately. We ask Him for something and when He doesn't show up on our predetermined schedule we throw a tantrum. Of course tantrums for us may not be screaming hysterically, but for some that maybe the case. Our tantrums could manifest in refusing to do the things we know we should; read our bibles, go to church, neglect our responsibilities or in some cases refuse to fellowship with God. We could be close to the cusp of answered prayer and because God doesn't appear at the time "we've" requested we throw a tantrum. What happens as a result of our proverbial tantrum is that God is surely delayed and in some cases we miss His time of visitation altogether.

You see, God tells us that we are not to be anxious but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God (Philippians 4:6) But I believe that if many believers are honest with themselves the reason for their anxiety is lack of faith. Hebrews 11:6 states that it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone coming to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him. Many believers do not have a problem with the existence part, it is the part that He rewards those who diligently seek Him that can cause us to stumble.

Certainly life's circumstances can sometimes seem overwhelming and at times appear to crush us under its weight but Christ told us to be of good cheer for He has overcome the world. I do not share this with you as someone who has arrived to the place free of struggles but as someone who continues to struggle. My mind has been the thorn in my flesh and some days it feels clear and free and then other days not so much. But, what I've learned is I don't have to pretend with God to be someone I'm not and I don't have to pretend that I have obtained and arrived at the place He would have me be. When I feel overwhelmed in my mind I confess it and I ask God for His grace. I have discovered that is the only way I can make it. I've settled the fact that God does reward those who diligently seek Him even when His rewards appear to take more time than I like. To everything there is a season but there is also a process. If we could see behind the scenes and be privy to every plan that God has then why would we need faith? What would be the point of trusting and hoping for that which we can't see because in this scenario we've already seen it.

 No believer's life is perfect, nor is it free of challenges but let us all cling to Psalm 27: 13-14 which states, "I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"

Don't turn a blind eye

The topic of sin can be all too overwhelming. Many people stay away from the topic because they are ashamed, ashamed of being judged. So, they hide their struggles or they give into them. Before a person comes to Christ they in most instances do not realize they are sinners who need the saving grace of the Lord. So, in sharing the good news believers must understand that leading a non believer away from a life of sin will look very different than a believer caught in the grips of sin. Whoa, let me repeat myself, "leading a non believer away from a life of sin will look very different than a believer caught in the grips of sin." Yes it's true, believers still wrestle with sin, gasp! Once a person accepts Christ as His savior it is his spirit that is reborn instantly but his soul (thoughts, emotions and will) is not. New believers find themselves crushed under the actualization that they may still wrestle with sin, hence why the need for the saving grace of the Lord never ends. But, alas-this post is for the believer so, let's stay on topic :-)

As a believer the Bible tells us not to judge or criticize because by doing so we bring the same judgement and criticism upon ourselves. We are not to point out the sin in another person's life if we-ourselves choose to live a life dominated by sin (Matthew 7) The day and age in which we live is one in which the sinful acts of the past that a person may have committed in the dark have in most instances become the norm for most, the new way of living. The most troubling thing about this is that as Christians have worked hard to operate in love for others as Christ did they too have come to accept these sinful lifestyles as the norm as well.

The question that is often thought of but rarely asked is, "what is the believer's responsibility when you see a fellow sister or brother in Christ who has adopted a sinful lifestyle?" In Matthew 18 around verse 11 Christ states to his disciples that He came to save those that are lost. He then proceeds in verse 12 to tell the parable of the shepherd with 100 sheep. "If any man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go and search for the one that is straying? If it turns out that he finds it, truly I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine which have not gone astray. So it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones perish."

As Christ's ambassadors in the earth we are His representatives and are charged with the same mission as Peter and all the disciples were-to feed His lambs (supply nutrients to babes in Christ)-to tend His sheep (look after them while they are developing and maturing) and to feed His sheep (seasoned believers still need to be supplied with nutrients to sustain what they have acquired and for continued growth) all the while doing this in love and with much compassion (John 2:15-18)

BRETHREN, IF any person is overtaken in misconduct or sin of any sort, you who are spiritual [who are responsive to and controlled by the Spirit] should set him right and restore and reinstate him, without any sense of superiority and with all gentleness, keeping an attentive eye on yourself, lest you should be tempted also Galatians 6:1

The Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will. 2 Tim:24-26

You see, turning someone away from sin is not to be done in judgement but in love; with the mindset that it is not acceptable for any to be lost, not when we, God's children are full of His light, love and truth. Many people do not see the error of their ways for many reasons but here are two realizations that keep people from knowing or accepting truth.

But the natural, nonspiritual man does not accept or welcome or admit into his heart the gifts and teachings and revelations of the Spirit of God, for they are folly (meaningless nonsense) to him; and he is incapable of knowing them [of progressively recognizing, understanding, and becoming better acquainted with them] because they are spiritually discerned and estimated and appreciated.

But the spiritual man tries all things [he examines, investigates, inquires into, questions, and discerns all things], 1 Corinthians 2:14-15

For such men are false apostles [spurious, counterfeits], deceitful workmen, masquerading as apostles (special messengers) of Christ (the Messiah). And it is no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light; 2 Corinthians 11:14

My fellow brothers and sisters in Christ-our great foe the devil wants to keep us in bondage, ignorant to God's truth. How do you know if you are led by God or being lured by Satan-easy by the fruit that you bear (Matt 7:16-18)

For the desires of the flesh are opposed to the [Holy] Spirit, and the [desires of the] Spirit are opposed to the flesh (godless human nature); for these are antagonistic to each other [continually withstanding and in conflict with each other], so that you are not free but are prevented from doing what you desire to do. But if you are guided (led) by the [Holy] Spirit, you are not subject to the Law. Now the doings (practices) of the flesh are clear (obvious): they are immorality, impurity, indecency, Idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger (ill temper), selfishness, divisions (dissensions), party spirit (factions, sects with peculiar opinions, heresies), Envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the like. I warn you beforehand, just as I did previously, that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness,Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Galatians 5:17-23

So, how do you help your fellow believer caught in the grips of sin? Your only assistance maybe in demonstrating love and praying, while for others God may ask you to confront directly. However, in either situation seek God first. Never go off of good intentions alone because to be overzealous is to be hasty and miss the mark (Proverbs 19:2) Holy Spirit will direct your footsteps just trust in the promises and process of God.

The Missing Link

The other day I saw an advertisement for a Christian concert based on this upcoming Christian movie. I thought, wow what an awesome experience that will be for those who can attend. I began studying closely the artists who would be performing and realized that everyone performing looked the same! I then begin to ask God, "when will the Bride (Church Universal) begin looking like the one Christ came to redeem?"  The make-up of this Bride includes different gifts, talents, socioeconomic status, family structures, race and ethnicity among many other things. This church is to preach the good news, to heal the brokenhearted and to set the captives free. But, what stood out to me about this church is what Jesus spoke of concerning what His followers would do. "Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father". John 14:12

I am a thinker and oftentimes like to think about those things that I have thought of previously, haha! I love knowledge and the study thereof and I love it even more when I believe God draws my attention to a specific area and then gives me revelation as to what it all means. I've heard many teach on the above scripture and have had conversations in regards to this scripture myself. These conversations have focused on  the absence of sight when it comes to the manifestation of these things that were mentioned in John 14:12? Why aren't we seeing these greater works that Christ spoke of?

Many who have studied the life of Christ know what He did-He healed the sick; He restored sight to the blind; He made the deaf to hear, the lame to walk; set captives free and He raised the dead. If Christ did all this, we His followers are to do more and if so then how is this accomplished? I remember years ago hearing my then Pastor, who I regard highly as a true man of God, teach that all God does in the earth is through man. Many people do not know this nor understand this so it is hard for them to receive this. When tragedy happens they ask, "where is God? If He is almighty and powerful, then where was He when this............happened?" 

God is a spiritual being and the earth and all its inhabitants are physical beings. When God came as Christ-even He had to do so in a physical form because He was coming to place that was physical and in order to fully execute what He intended He had to do so in the form of the people He was coming to save! God is a God of order, laws and principles; and this order, these laws and principles are what govern the life sustaining force of the earth because without order chaos reigns.

What does this mean for mankind? Because God's habitation is a spiritual one He provided each one of us earthly-physical-fixed beings with different gifts, abilities and talents. "To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. For to one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills." 1 Corinthians 12:7-11

Back to the earlier question-"why aren't we seeing or even doing these things that were mentioned in John 14:12?" But, we do see these things occurring in this day and age but we pass it off as something else. In this day and age many people are healed from sicknesses of the body, mind and even raised from the dead. Most of what I've just mentioned happens everyday across the world in hospitals, in therapists' office, etc. Man has been able to create artificial limbs for those who have lost theirs. Man has been able to transplant organs to prolong the lives of people who would otherwise perish. There exists corrective wear for those with poor eyesight and even surgeries that can now correct failing vision. Surgeries and artificial devices have also helped those who otherwise would not be able to hear! There are also therapies to help those whose minds have different wiring so that they can have a sense of normalcy in this world.

God never separated the secular from the spiritual that is what man did. Sure we are spiritual beings but we must understand that our spiritual body can only reside in the earth because of the physical body that sustains it. And....most of the miracles I have described are physical ones that support and in many cases sustain the physical bodies that enable us to live! I never quite understood why many people who believe in science think there is no God and those who believe in God doubt science. I learned many years ago that all truth is God's truth and it is He who decides how it is manifested. God never intended for science or anything for that matter to exist apart from Him, these were all practices enacted by man.

I majored in Psychology because I love the mind! I am a life-long student of trying to understand human behavior but I know that I can never fully understand this behavior if I were to take it out of the context of God. God made us to be inquisitive, to seek out answers to our questions. He made the earth in a way that would encourage this high level thinking being called man, to seek. In seeking, God hoped that all discoveries would lead to Him. But, I realize that many will not receive this due to a lack of understanding. Those who are Christians will believe that the works Christ spoke of must be manifested in the way that Jesus carried them out. While those who are not will just attribute these phenomenons to science. Don't get me wrong supernatural manifestations of God still occur but we must be careful to not expect God to always show up in the same manner.
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord."Isaiah 55:8

The danger with the above referenced mindsets is that-people are sick; they are hurt and damaged; they are imprisoned and dying while the very people who can save them are too busy arguing the manner in which they should be saved! The missing link could be you and you might be missing because you don't know what your talents and abilities are; you don' t know your purpose and you don't know where you fit; or it could be that you do not know God or that He created you for a particular purpose that will be left unsatisfied because you don't realize that "you" are the one needed to accomplish it. 

"And His gifts were [varied; He Himself appointed and gave men to us] some to be apostles (special messengers), some prophets (inspired preachers and expounders), some evangelists (preachers of the Gospel, traveling missionaries), some pastors (shepherds of His flock) and teachers. His intention was the perfecting and the full equipping of the saints (His consecrated people), [that they should do] the work of ministering toward building up Christ’s body (the church)." Ephesians 4:11 These are the positions that God has called every believer to but the manner (the space in which these positions are actually fulfilled) will be different for everyone.

Simply put, understand your gift (1 Corinthians 12:7-11) and the position to which you have been commissioned (Ephesians 4:11) and use it in the arena of life that you've been called to. All will not pastor a church or go to the mission fields of another country but you can pastor (shepherd) as a leader in your workplace and your mission field might be your own household! Seek revelation-seek understanding-seek God-know your calling-know your mission-then apply all you now know to life.

Subtle Tactics

As infants, we come into the world as a blank canvass, as untilled soil. All of our experiences as children begin to take what was blank and paint a picture, to take what was uncultivated and to cultivate those empty spaces with the intent of creating our future selves. The harsh reality is that many parents or caregivers neglect the tender souls of their offspring and leave gates open that allow access by anyone or anything. You see while the majority of parents hope they are rearing children to become productive and upstanding citizens of society with a moral compass as their guide, Satan, too has his plans for the cultivation of our children. His cultivation begins in childhood as well, when the soil is freshest and his seeds are able to take root.

He begins planting seeds of self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy that may not reveal themselves until many years later. This time of reveal will often come at a time when the person is unsuspecting that anything is occurring. In order for seeds to grow they must be planted in the right soil and they must receive the necessary nourishment in order to thrive. When all the conditions have been met and the time is right those seeds buried deep will begin to sprout. As adults, we may begin to wrestle with things that were previously not a concern for us and even though we may have come to know and understand our self-worth through God we may begin to doubt ourselves and wrestle with feelings of inadequacy. But, we must look deep behind what we “see” into that which is unseen. Our struggle is not against flesh but against principalities-the dark forces behind the evil in this world. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places (Ephesians 6:12)

The manifestation of those long ago planted seeds in our lives is the first step in Satan’s plan for our destruction. See, he cannot simply destroy those who belong to God, no, it requires our participation and many of us are all too willing to assist in this endeavor. If one wishes to yield a fruitful harvest he/she must plant in fertile soil, supply the necessary nutrients, thereby creating the right conditions in which the soil will give way to produce that which it was implanted with. But, that is just the first step towards destruction-though the seed has now broken forth through the soil it must continue to feed in order to grow and reach maturity.

Most Christians who have walked away from God will tell you this happened as a result of offense masquerading as anger or hurt. They allow offense to serve as a nutrient for the seeds planted by the enemy that once mature can lead them away from God and on a path that will most assuredly lead to destruction. When we “feel” as though we have been wronged by someone, and even by God, our natural inclination is to get away from those who have wronged us. Feelings are very tricky because they can cause us to believe things about ourselves and our situations that are completely untrue. Feelings were given to us by God as a means to express all that we encounter in our lives and when used correctly help us to endure troubling situations, enjoy positive ones as well as to make informed decisions. But, feelings are temperamental in that they can change just like the weather. One minute we are happy and the next we may be sad and though these expressions may accurately reflect one’s current experience it is never an indicator of one’s overall life. Feelings become dangerous when the enemy allows us to exchange the truth for a lie and we being expressing our feelings based off of the lie rather than the truth.

Parents through their own brokenness may begin to criticize, belittle or neglect their children through lack of time and attention simply put “because that’s how we were raised.” Not realizing they have created fertile soil for the enemy to plant seeds of inadequacy. Once that child reaches adulthood, no matter how many accomplishments he/she may have or how many people love, admire and respect them they will struggle with feelings of inadequacy all because their parents allowed access to the garden of their children’s hurt by our great foe, the evil one. If not dealt with accordingly everything that person does will be done from the stained window bearing their “feelings” of inadequacy which does not accurately reflect who they really are and what God really wants for them.

The scheme of the evil one is and has always been to turn God’s people away from Him. How is this done? By making us believe that God is withholding something from us. This is the tactic used in the Garden and proved successful so if it “ain’t broke, why fix it?” He wants us to doubt God’s plan, will and purpose for our lives and more importantly His love for us. If he can get us to doubt God’s love for us then why would anyone else truly loved our flawed selves.

Many churches are failing the children of God because while they preach messages that are useful for the training up of the body of Christ they are not dealing with individual sin issues and more importantly the iniquities that run rampant in the lives of God’s people. So, God’s people are hearing messages on how to serve Him, searching out God’s purpose and plans for their lives but they are broken-saved but broken. They are broken because their minds are not being renewed-their iniquities are not being addressed and unaddressed iniquities give birth to the manifestation of sin. But every person is tempted when he is drawn away, enticed and baited by his own evil desire (lust, passions). Then the evil desire, when it has conceived, gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully matured, brings forth death (James 1:14-15)

Once a person has given into this sin they open themselves to a struggle that they will not win on their own. Most believers don’t understand why they keep doing what they don’t want to do but Paul said it best in Romans 7:19-20 For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.

I want to share something with you that I do not believe a number of churches are addressing-Christians still struggle with sin. Many Christians come to believe that once they have been saved that all sins cease but that is only partly true. Once we come to salvation through Christ it is our spirit that is transformed instantly, many are never taught that their soul (the seat of their emotions, thought and will) is not. This is why Paul wrote so much on the topic of renenwing one’s mind (mind and heart are the same thing) Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you]. Romans (12:2) We live in a broken world and we receive its messages daily. It is very challenging to not allow some of the world to influence who we are and what we do.

The children of God self-destruct because they are trying to conquer demons in their own strength and win battles they were never meant to fight. Christians are led to believe that God demands perfection when all He wants is a heart that will surrender his/her will to that of His. Though, we may struggle with sin until Jesus returns that doesn’t negate what the Lord has begun in and through us. And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you(Philippians 1:6) And, though we struggle with sin the danger that befalls us is if and when it becomes our lifestyle. God understands our struggles, our shortcomings, but yet He loves us and nothing will ever change that.

The Lord is compassionate and gracious,

   slow to anger, abounding in love.

He will not always accuse,

   nor will he harbor his anger forever;

he does not treat us as our sins deserve

   or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

   so great is his love for those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west,

   so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

As a father has compassion on his children,

   so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;

for he knows how we are formed,

   he remembers that we are dust.

The life of mortals is like grass,

   they flourish like a flower of the field;

the wind blows over it and it is gone,

   and its place remembers it no more.

But from everlasting to everlasting

   the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,

   and his righteousness with their children’s children—

with those who keep his covenant

   and remember to obey his precepts(Psalm 103:9-18)

Becoming who you were meant to be.

My children and I (minus dad because he is in Korea) recently moved from our last duty station to our current one. This is the second time we, the kids and I (though there were only three at that time) said good-bye to dad (Korea) and moved to a place unknown. The first time we endured this was tough because to say we were in unfamiliar surroundings is an understatement. At the time none of our kids were school age so we spent quite a few months visiting relatives. As it got closer to my oldest beginning kindergarten I knew that I would need to create a routine to help us survive. I dived head first into creating this routine so that I would not be overwhelmed and that I would also be able to carve out time for myself. I found a mother's morning out program for the two younger ones, joined the Y.M.C.A, but most importantly found a great church that I became really active in. All of this was soul soothing as I spent this year away from my husband.

Now, 7 years later I find myself in a similar situation but with four children (three of whom are school aged) and an entirely different perspective. We are almost 3 months into this year long assignment for my husband and when I initally arrived I began the same frantic search for things to fill the empty space that I previously encountered when he went to Korea some 7 years ago. But, this time around I have been a lot more introspective; looking within as opposed to outside of myself. Instead of finding things to sooth my soul I've been seeking God to reveal my spirit.

Over the years I've battled extreme anxiety-always worrying about things that really have no basis-those things that could possibly happen to anyone but there is no evidence that they will. During this time of separation God has taken me on a journey of self-discovery. For so many years I lived life based upon who I thought I was, but this life of mine had been framed through the lenses of other people. When I was young I was told I should grow up and do this. When I went to college people told me I would be good at that. So, I never really knew who I was or what I really wanted. This journey that I have been on has taken me into the depths of my childhood where I've had to address some very painful realities. Bad, troubled or challenging experiences from our childhood most often develop into maladaptive ways of being as we progress through childhood-adolescence into adulthood. These coping mechanisms aren't always healthy but serve as a means in helping us deal with the ways we were wronged as children. What I am learning now is that I must go back to a time before the hurt and discouragement I felt as a child to the person God made me to be. This has not been easy but it has been totally worth it.

I imagine this journey to unleashing who I really am will continue to be challenging as I have a great deal of layers that must be removed. I think about the process of restoring old wood to its original state. Over the years it becomes damaged from all that life has thrown its way. Once its potential is recognized great effort is taken to strip off those layers that have become damaged in an attempt to get it back to its original state-then varnish is applied to emphasize the wood's beauty. This is how it must be with us. We are likened to clay in the potter's (God's) hands. He does not throw away what He has made because it is damaged-no, He strips off the damaged layers and then gives us a varnish to place emphasis on our beauty-His intent is to restore us to our original state. I've said this before and I will say it again when it comes to change.

When a person refuses to change most people may equate it to that person being stubborn or "set in their ways." Really, that isn't the problem with change at all. Change, a true change of the heart requires one to be vulnerable, to confront the very core of who they are. It requires them to look deep past the behavior that is seen to the "whys" of that behavior. Looking that deep within can be very frightening. Our upbringing shapes who we become, we are the product of that environment. But, our nature plays a big role as well in our development so, that must be considered too. Environments can either be nurturing or damaging. As adults, instead of dealing with how we came to be and even those things we may have been born with (nature); our actions, emotions, thinking-the sum total of who we are, many of us just choose to be the person that exists today never fully recognizing that God's design and intent for us was/is completely different! But, true change begins with a person confronting who they have become, the good-the bad-and the ugly. But, in order for change to be successful it has to be done by the power of the Holy Spirit. We are constantly bombarded with the world's messages so it is easy to be consumed by its lure and power. Our souls are constantly at battle and we can't win this fight alone.