I have often been described as a person of varying extremes-shifting between black and white with very little shades of grey. I don’t believe there’s anything fundamentally wrong with this stance as like with most anything, the positive aspects can be found if only one looks long enough. Being a person of extremes means that I’m either all in or out. If I’m on a team and fully invested you get everything I bring to the table. If I’m not fully invested, you may get a bare minimum to zero participation.
However, I have come to realize over the years that this presented some problems because life requires some flexibility right? Different people in my life began telling me I needed balance. When I thought of balance-I pictured a scale and everything that required my attention at that moment was weighed in equal measure. After all, balance is literally described as a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions.
So, I began to work feverishly in the hopes of achieving this mystical balance; alas, it would not be so. It wasn’t until recent times that I began to get some clarity on the subject of achieving balance. What I’ve found is that the scale of balance will always be tipped to one side or another, because with 24 hours in a day it becomes very challenging to respond to every situation with the same amount of effort and tenacity considering that at some point we must find time to rest. And if you are a self-proclaimed heavy hitter, going full force ahead, something will get overlooked, even if that something is you. Once again, the scales are tipped.
What I’ve found is that we should approach everything from a sense of priority. While the doing, the execution of what we engage in will always cause the scales of balance to be tipped-the being should flow from a state of harmony (are your priorities congruent-on one accord and in agreement with who you are and what you value).
- How important is this?
- What will this cost me?
- Who will this affect?
- What kind of impact will this have?
- What will I gain?
- What will I lose?
This is where balance can be effectively measured-where you offset or compare the value of one thing with another. And this (determining priorities) always comes from your value system-it guides everything you do.
I want to leave you with three principles that I hope will help you in understanding and achieving balance. Whatever you find yourself in pursuit of, allow yourself to be guided by that of righteousness, peace, and joy.
Righteousness-is this something good, honest, justifiable-is this the right thing to do?
Peace-is my mind in a state of tranquility-calm. Now here’s the thing, you could be faced with doing a difficult thing. For example; walking away from a job or relationship in which you found security, taking a job with responsibilities that may be bigger than you think you’re capable of, or pursuing a relationship after a painful one. But, in the midst of all this, is your mind troubled or is it surprisingly full of peace?
Lastly, joy-is this satisfying- is this something delightful in which pleasure can be taken. We were never told to seek things, putting less of an emphasis on the how-the doing. We are to do as instructed in Matthew 6:33, to seek God’s Kingdom first, and the Kingdom as Paul says in Romans 14:17 is righteousness, peace, and joy. This is the being from which the how-the doing (executing) comes forth.
